Calder & Maggie Read online

  I pop him out of my mouth. “Not yet.” The water is turning cold and I know what I need to get me off. I need Calder making love to me. The time is right at least physically. “I want you in me.”

  He doesn’t say anything, but he shuts the water off and brings me up off my knees. I wrap a towel around my body so I’m not tracking water through my apartment and lead my man to my bed.

  I’m on my back as he gazes down at me with hungry eyes. We both want this. I am tired of waiting for the perfect moment. Life isn’t perfect, and neither am I even though Calder makes me feel pretty damn special. His body covers mine as he kisses me deeply. My knees fall to either side granting him access to my body…to my heart. I’ve fallen in love with him. I don’t know the exact moment it happened, but it did. I love him, and I am so terrified that if and when I tell him the truth, I am going to lose him. I know how he feels about liars…criminals. I am both of those things.

  “Hey, where did you go just now?” he breaks me from my awful thoughts.

  “Nowhere. I’m right here, baby.” I kiss his lips and he rocks back on his calves and scrubs a hand over his face.

  “Don’t kill me, but I don’t have a condom. Do you?”

  Frustrated beyond words I shake my head.

  “Damn. Damn.” He looks at me again and I know I don’t want to wait.

  “I trust you, Calder. You’ll pull out.”

  “I’ll pull out,” he repeats, and I think we both know it’s a lie, but we are both too far gone to care.

  Our bodies join together, and I have never felt higher than I am right now beneath this man as he makes sweet love to me. It’s never felt this way for me before—sex. Out of this world. I feel like I am flying as he hooks my legs over his hips and buries himself inside me.

  “So tight.” He pulls out to the tip then slams back in, repeating the motion over and over again until he is fully seated deep inside me. “This is going to go a lot faster than I want it to, but I’ll make sure you come.” He grins lazily at me and rubs a finger over my clit.

  Using my elbows for support, I pull myself up far enough to kiss him. “Let me on top, lover.”

  “Fuck yes,” he says doing as I want.

  I grind down on his thick cock rotating my hips, moving them side to side riding him hard. His large hands grip the tops of my thighs, gliding up until they are holding my hips in place. Calder pumps his hips, hitting me in the right spot. My orgasm rocks through me and our eyes lock. He grunts like a wild animal and without warning he’s shooting his release inside me. The sensation brings me to orgasm again. As I ride out the wave of pleasure he raises up and claims my lips. “I love you, Maggie.”

  His declaration makes me so happy I could cry. “I love you too,” I admit. His essence runs down my thighs and I roll off him and out of bed to go clean myself up. What we just did—having unprotected sex was foolish, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to.

  “Don’t think this means you are getting out of dinner with my parents,” he yells at me.

  “I know.” I smile to myself and get dressed.

  **

  His parents were great. I wasn’t sure if they would like me, but his mom said she has never seen her son so happy. That alone makes me a winner in her book. I’m relieved that she likes me. When I told her that I want to write romance novels for a living she said she thinks it’s great I want to pursue my dreams. The food was good, and the conversation stayed fairly casual. I was on cloud nine the whole evening until we returned home. While Calder was getting his stuff ready for work in the morning, I went to my place to do the same and that’s when I found the envelope addressed to June stuck inside my door. The message is simple and clear.

  I know you’re a liar.

  It has to be from Carly. She had to have seen what I was looking at when we were at the library and this is her warning. She’s going to out me to Calder if I don’t come clean with him. Only how do I do that now after we shared the most perfect of nights together. He’s supposed to stay the night over with me. How can I lay next to him all night and pretend everything is okay?

  I have to tell him who I am and what I did. How will he ever look at me the same way again. I brush my teeth being rougher than I should and my gums start to bleed. I know what I need to say but the words just won’t come.

  Chapter 9

  Calder

  Things with Maggie are progressing, and I know without a doubt she’s the one. I’ve never felt so intensely in love before. My parents love her. I received a text from my mom on our way home from dinner that said if you don’t marry this girl, you’re crazy. I’m not anywhere near ready to take that step, and I know Maggie isn’t either. She still has secrets and now I am not sure if I want to know what they are. Things are going so good for us I don’t want anything messing up what we are building together. I’m terrified she will tell me something that will alter my feelings for her but at the same time I need to know what’s holding her back. If we are going to work, she is going to have to come clean, and I am going to have to be able to handle it whatever it is.

  I finish laying my uniform out for tomorrow and go through the doorway between our places. I want to tell her I want it to stay open. It’s a step toward us living together. I know it’s fast and sudden, but I don’t want to waste even a minute with her. I lost so much time feeling down and sorry over the things that went on in the past with Carly. I don’t want to be that man. I want to be with Maggie and build towards our life together. I don’t know how I know but I can feel it. I’m going to marry her someday.

  I watch as she gets ready for bed and turns the covers down. I don’t want to push her too soon or pry but if we are going to move forward something needs to give.

  Something is eating at her, and I don’t know what could have changed in the past ten minutes that we were apart. She’s sighed three times since we got in bed. Her head is on my chest, and I’m stroking my fingers through her silky hair. “What’s wrong, Maggie?”

  “You’re so wonderful I know that when I tell you certain things that it will change how you feel about me. I am so scared I am going to lose you, and I’m going to crash and burn.”

  “Nothing you are about to say is going to change how I feel about you. I get that you’re scared but crash into me. I’ll soften your fall.”

  “You don’t know that. You don’t know what I have been holding back.” Her tears trickle down my side.

  “If you love me like you say you do, you’ll be able to tell me anything. Anything.”

  “I want to tell you and I am going to.” She pulls away and sits up in the bed.

  “My name’s not Maggie. It’s June. I was involved with a bad man. My ex he was horrible to me and the people he worked for are bad men. Dangerous men. I had to get away before he killed me, so I ran, and I got a fake ID. I left June behind and became Maggie. I’ve been so scared that they will find me because I know things about them. About their business.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  She nods. “I lost a baby because of them.”

  “Baby, they will never hurt you again. I’m so sorry.” I embrace her and kiss the top of her head relishing in the cherry vanilla scent that I will always associate with her. “Give me their names and I swear to you they will never get near you.”

  Her head moves side to side. “I can’t. The less you know the better.”

  “I can protect you.” My voice comes out harsher than I intended but I am aggravated that she has been carrying this on her own. “I’m a cop, Maggie or June. I don’t know what I should call you.”

  “Maggie. June’s dead. She no longer exists. Call me Maggie.”

  “I wish you’d tell me, so I would know what we’re up against. If they show up here, baby, I won’t let them hurt you, but why would they come after you?”

  “I took something that belonged to them. Only I didn’t know I had it until it was too late.”

  “What did you take?”

  “I’
ll show you, but you have to know that I am only keeping it because it’s my safety net if they do come after me. It’s my bargaining chip. I’m not a bad person, Calder. I just got involved with the wrong guy, and I couldn’t get away. For a long time, I thought there was no way out.”

  “Do you have something illegal?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t show me, Maggie. Don’t tell me what it is. Don’t tell me where it is, because if you do…I don’t want to arrest you.”

  “You’d turn me in?”

  “I don’t know, but I swore an oath. I could lose my job.”

  “Do you love me, Calder? Really and truly love me?”

  “Yes,” I answer her without a doubt in my mind.

  “Then I trust you.” Climbing out of bed she goes over to the closet and tosses a duffle bag on the mattress.

  Pinching the bridge of my nose I know that whatever is in this bag it is nothing good. “What’s in there?”

  “Open it and then you do whatever it is you think you have to.”

  “Maggie…I”

  “Just open the bag,” she insists.

  I don’t want to open this bag, but I will because it is important to her. I unzip it and turn it over, dumping the contents out. There’s three large stacks of money held together by rubber bands and a brick of drugs. “Jesus, Maggie. Is that what I think it is?”

  Her head bobs up and down. “Yeah. Its cocaine. So you see, I have their money and some of their drugs.” She grimaces, and I fall back on the pillow unsure of what I am supposed to do now. “Are you mad?” I look up at her and she’s staring at me putting her future in my hands. She fidgets, twisting her fingers together and after all that she has told me, I love her even more because she trusts me enough to tell me her dirty secret and her ugly past.

  I laugh. “Am I mad? Fuck. Yes, I’m mad, but I love you, and no I’m not turning you in. Just stuff that shit back in the bag and hide it somewhere other than your closet.”

  “Okay.” She hurriedly stuffs the contraband back in the bag and kicks it under the bed.

  “Someplace better than that but do it tomorrow. C’mere. I need to hold you.”

  She falls onto the bed, and I pull her snug against me, loving that she fits perfectly against me like a missing puzzle piece. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

  “I think Carly knows my name isn’t Maggie. There was a note in my door. It was addressed to June, and she was at the library today acting all weird. I was looking at a missing person’s report that was filed on me. I think she saw and plans on blackmailing me into leaving you.”

  “You let me worry about Carly.” I don’t want to deal with her, but Carly can be impulsive, and I don’t want her doing anything stupid that could put Maggie in danger.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers.”

  “For what?”

  “For dragging you into my mess.”

  “I’m glad I met you and would never change a thing about you.” Well, okay I’d change the fact that I am a sheriff’s deputy sleeping over stolen drugs and money right now, but I don’t say that. “What’s this about a missing person’s report?”

  “I think my ex filed it in an attempt to find me because I have the drugs and money that he owes to the bad guys he was involved with.”

  I breathe out heavily through my nose. “And you’ve told me everything?”

  “Well. There is one more thing, but I know it’s going to hurt you.”

  “Just tell me.”

  “It’s Roger. When he gave me a ride home…he—he put his hand on my leg. I didn’t think much of it at first but then he tried to kiss me and said vulgar things about you and not being able to please a woman.”

  Rage courses through my veins, and I am seething. I will deal with him tomorrow. “Anything else,” I grit through my teeth. “Have you told me everything now?”

  “Yes, that’s everything.”

  “Get some sleep, Maggie. We’ll figure it out tomorrow once I’ve had time to think on it.”

  “Okay.” She buries herself deeper into the covers pressing her ass against my groin. Immediately I go hard, and I know I won’t be getting much sleep tonight. Rubbing my hand up her side I palm her breast, and pinch her nipple, rolling it between my fingertips. I slide my other hand between her thighs, teasing at her slick heat. “You drive me crazy.” I kiss her neck and along her jaw. Her legs spread, and her ass rubs over my erection. “Fuck, baby, I need inside you again.”

  Maggie eases her shorts off, revealing she isn’t wearing anything underneath. Gripping my dick, I tease her, rubbing the head up and down the crack of her backside. Her back arches and she wiggles her butt in an attempt to get me where she craves me the most. Kissing her shoulders, I take my time, wanting to savor every second, wanting to savor her.

  My skillful fingers move inside her velvet heat, her arousal coating my thick digits. My girl is so ready for me. This is what I want, a life with June, Maggie whatever her name is. It doesn’t matter. I’ll find a way to get her out of this mess. She’s mine and no one will come between us. I’ll make sure of that. Holding her shoulder, I ease into her from behind, slowly. Inch by delicious inch.

  Her body trembles to my touch. She’s so responsive to every thrust. Every kiss as we make love. That bag isn’t her safety net I am. I want to be the man she needs. The man she runs to. The man she wants to wake up lying next to every morning. I want her to know she’s safe in my arms and I am never letting go.

  **

  The next morning everything Maggie told me is weighing heavily on me. The drugs. The money. It goes against everything in me not to turn her in. I won’t do that though. I love Maggie and what kind of future will we have if she’s in jail. We won’t have one. I know I need to speak with Carly and find out what she knows without it being obvious I know she left that note stuck in Maggie’s door. When I looked at it before I left this morning, I recognized the handwriting. I called her work, but they said she isn’t in today. I even called Roger as much as I hated doing so. I gave him a piece of my mind too for pulling that stunt with Maggie. He simply can’t let me be happy. I don’t know what I ever did for him to betray me every chance he gets but I’m done.

  When he went behind my back with Carly, I never confronted him. I was hurt and angry. I only wanted to be left alone. I kept my distance and pretended the two of them never existed as best I could. I wasn’t spiteful. I wasn’t vengeful. But him trying to kiss Maggie, if I run into the bastard, I’m going to knock his teeth in.

  Chapter 10

  The past few days have been intense. I still haven’t moved the bag from under my bed. I think a part of me was hoping that Calder would turn me in, so it would finally be over. Carly has been avoiding Calder. Dodging his calls and slipping out at work whenever he stops by. Even her car has been gone from the house she shares with her slimy husband. I still can’t believe that jerk tried to kiss me. Did he think I would be open to fucking him? The thought makes me sick. I should probably take the money and run before trouble comes knocking on my door. It is only a matter of time before Flip finds out where I am now that Carly knows who I am and where I am from.

  Calder tells me to trust him and let him handle things, but he doesn’t know Flip. He won’t turn the other cheek if he learns of my whereabouts. He’ll come for me and everything will come crashing down. I’ll probably be arrested for killing Chris even though it was an accident. I ran and that alone makes me look guilty. I should have told Calder about Chris, but I hesitated and panicked. I just couldn’t do it. He was saying how much he loved me and how he’d do anything to protect me. I couldn’t turn around and say oh by the way I think I killed my ex-boyfriend. That would have been too much even for someone as good and wonderful as him.

  I didn’t tell him that I had a nightmare about Chris. I dreamed he was standing outside my bedroom window staring at me. At least it felt like a dream. I woke up around five this morning because I had this feeling like someone was wa
tching me and when I looked to the window, I saw his face. I had to have been half asleep and dreaming vividly. There is no way that could have been Chris. I saw him lying on the floor. I saw how much blood he was losing from the stab wound. He wasn’t breathing, and I couldn’t find a pulse.

  The duffle bag is sitting on my bed now taunting me. I know I need to leave but I don’t want to lose Calder. How do I give him up when he is all I want? I’m pacing around the apartment trying to come up with a plan. Any plan but my mind is drawing a blank. All I can think about is Calder and the life I want with him. He’s a dream come true. He loves me, and he is so good to me. He treats me with respect and makes feel cherished. Like I matter.

  If I tell him about Chris now, I’ll lose him for sure. I had my chance and I blew it. I know what I have to do and maybe in time I can come back, and he’ll forgive me. I’m doing this for him. So my mistakes don’t cost him. If his boss finds out that he knew I had stolen money and drugs right under their noses he’ll lose his job and I know how much being a cop means to him. I won’t jeopardize his career. I can’t do that to him. I love him too much. I wish I could be selfish and keep pretending but I can’t.

  I grab a few necessities and stuff them in the bag enough to hide the drugs and money. Everything else will have to be left behind. I don’t know where I am going or how in the hell I am getting there but I know I have to go. I walk through Calder’s apartment one more time. He left the door open yesterday morning and told me that he wanted it to stay that way. So he can see me anytime he wants to. It was so sweet. I bite my bottom lip wishing I could go back in time to the moment we first met so I could do things differently. At least I would like to believe that I would.